Follow your HEART

Silence. All I hear is silence. Or did my ears become best friends with this now somewhat familiar white noise called a baby monitor? I wonder. I must confess, in the beginning I thought I had suddenly grown bionic ears. I could hear it all! I barely could sleep anymore! I might as well have camped out in my baby's bedroom. But not anymore. Now I am a pro! A veteran! I can sleep through any noise coming from that oh-so-neatly-thought-of gadget. I call it a gadget because let's admit it, the generation before us didn't have them and it all worked out pretty darn fine. So perhaps it is a gadget. Who am I to say?!

In any case, here I am, sitting around this "silence". Swimming in it. And then my thoughts start to wander... I ponder. WOW! Already a year... Oh wait! Not yet! Time flies by so fast that I should enjoy these last few days before the big 1. February 26th 2011 7:29PM. That was THE moment. The moment I had waited for sooo impatiently. The moment I had not waited for sooo impatiently. Let's be honest, I was dying inside to have my baby in my arms, hold him, cuddle with him, kiss him. And see how beautiful he would be. But... (and lets make this a big but)... BUT I was a tad scared. I did not know what to expect and if I would be good enough. If I would make it through and know what to do. If I would make a good mother. Will I know what to do, when to do it, how to do it?? And then a small thought crossed that worried mind of mine... I am pretty sure I am not the only one in this basket. Nope. I can't be. So right then and there, I felt better. Temporarily! The thing is, as parenthood throws you surprises left and right and up and down, you pretty much figure it out. Your instincts kick in out of nowhere, with no warning signs, and tells you what to do. It guides you. And in the end, after it is all said and done, you look back and think, proudly "WOW! Look at what I have done and accomplished!". And, must I add, you should be amazed at yourself. You should toot your own horn! Because you have done great things. Things with a lifetime ripple effect. Your reward will be an evergrowing prize.


So for now, before that journey for you begins, enjoy those impatient moments where you wonder if your little bundle of joy will be a spitting imagine of daddy or have the beautiful lips and eyes of mommy. Dream and be dreamy. And for those whose journey has already begun, just remember that in your child's eyes, you are the best parent in the whole wide world...